Post-Counseling Accountability
Define the issue.
Determine the best way forward.
Discipline yourself for growth.
Define, determine, and discipline summarize the last year in regard to my physical health. Following chronic fatigue and bizarre symptoms, I finally sought out an extensive blood panel that defined the problem: Hashimoto’s disease. The determined way forward in my case to this lifelong autoimmune disease involves two “simple” disciplines: taking a pill daily and sticking to a stringent diet. Within six weeks, my health significantly improved. However, as chocolate crepes were placed before me this morning for my wife’s fiftieth birthday (a justifiable reason to celebrate with crepes and the eating thereof), my discipline slipped and I soon felt the consequences!
Allow me now to relate this to post-counseling accountability. In counseling, we seek to define the issue, determine the best way forward (using the sufficiency of Scripture), and then encourage discipline for the purpose of godliness (1 Timothy 4:7-8). Lord willing, at some point in the counseling process, enough progress is made and we are able to end the formal counseling as the issue has been adequately understood and a gospel response has become normative.
While we may graduate believers from formal counseling, they do not graduate from their need for Christ as exemplified and encouraged through the church. Are we not prone to stray from the best way forward in life? Do we not often fail to discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness or discipline ourselves motivated by something other than the love of God and others (Matthew 22:37-39; 2 Corinthians 5:14-15)?
In preparing to graduate counselees, which would be the more loving thing to say?
“Glad to see the progress made, now go have a great life!”
“Glad to see the progress made, now what is your ‘game plan' to stand firm in the faith and to continue to grow in godliness and in the joy of your salvation?” (Ephesians 4:11-16; 6:10-14)
Would it not be wise and loving to make sure appropriate others, in the context of the local church, come alongside those we graduate to encourage them to continue to walk in a manner worthy of their calling?
A primary way to help others not just avoid falling back into sin but also make steady progress in godliness is through accountability. It is often easier to define an issue and determine the best way forward than be disciplined to daily live accordingly. Thus, we should consider post-counseling accountability as we look toward the long-term spiritual well-being and growth of others.
So what is accountability? In Kevin Carson’s excellent presentation on “Biblical Friendship and Accountability,” he gives this definition: “An accountability relationship is one in which a Christian gives permission to another believer to look into his life for the purpose of questioning, challenging, admonishing, advising, encouraging, and otherwise providing input in a way that will help the individual live according to biblical principles in a way that honors God.”¹
Accountability assists believers in becoming imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1). God designed the church to encourage one another toward love and good works (Hebrews 10:24). Accountability with other believers promotes spiritual maturity through humility, honesty, obedience, and exhortation to live and love as Christ. Accountability is needed because, like sheep, we tend to go astray and can become hardened by sin (Isaiah 53:6; Hebrews 3:13), rather than do everything to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).
Knowing that we will all be held accountable before God in the future, should we not seek to be accountable to one another in the present (Romans 14:10-12; Matthew 12:36)? When we are accountable to others, are we not less likely to fall into temptation (Proverbs 11:14; 13:14, 19, 20)? When we are accountable to others, we are less likely to “get away” with wayward actions (Proverbs 27:6; Galatians 6:1).
As we prepare to graduate someone from formal counseling, helping them understand the importance and beauty of accountability in the context of the local church should be followed by helping them consider who might be trustworthy companions to help them continue their journey toward the Celestial City. Once such true companions are identified, here are some questions that could be discussed in the context of regular planned meetings.
How have you seen the grace of God at work in your life since our last meeting?
What further understanding and implications of the gospel have impacted your life since our last meeting?²
Are you communing each day with God through reading His Word and responding in prayer? What impacted you the most this past week from your reading?
How are you doing with your “game plan” in guarding your heart from falling back into past sins? How have you been tempted this week and how did you respond?
What practical steps have you taken this past week to grow in your love of God and others?
For further consideration of good questions regarding accountability and deepening discipleship relationships, the following are excellent resources:
“X-Ray Questions” by David Powlison³
“10 Questions to Ask at the New Year” (or any other time) by Donald Whitney⁴
¹ Kevin Carson, “Biblical Friendship and Authentic Accountability,” https://biblicalcounseling.com/resource-library/conference-messages/biblical-friendship-and-authentic-accountability/.
² A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent is a great resource to help others grow in their appreciation of the love of Christ for them: https://www.focuspublishing.com/product/a-gospel-primer-for-christians-2/.
³ Available for free at https://andynaselli.com/x-ray-questions.
⁴ Donald Whitney, “Ten Questions for a New Year,” https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/ten-questions-for-a-new-year.