Parenting to the Glory of God
Need help parenting? A book search on “parenting” on Amazon will give you over 60,000 options to “help.” If the thought of sorting through all those books overwhelms you, be encouraged that you really only need one book… the Book, God’s sufficient and authoritative Word!
In parenting, what is most significant is not how many sports or instruments your children play or whether they have the highest GPAs. What matters is that we faithfully teach our children the glorious deeds of the Lord that they, by God’s grace, may one day put their hope in the Lord (Psalm 78)! What, therefore, should be our focus in our God-given role of parenting?
The goal of parenting is the glory of God. As 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do [including parenting], do all to the glory of God.” In a practical since, if we don’t seek to glorify God in our parenting—then whose glory are we seeking? The goal is not to produce a well-manicured child who makes us look good as parents, but rather we glorify God in parenting by embracing, exemplifying, and expounding the gospel as we parent. In parenting, we aim to help our children see their heart from which their behavior flows, and in doing so help them to see their need for Christ for saving and sanctifying faith.
In parenting, our aim is to faithfully help our children see that all of Scripture ultimately points to Christ as we help them see their need for Christ in all of life. To that end, in their book The Faithful Parent, Stuart Scott and Martha Peace write: “The goal of the Christian parent is to be faithful to God’s Word by his grace and for his glory.”¹ Yet as we seek to be faithful, we do so depending upon God and His good work. Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”
Apart from Christ, we can do nothing (John 15:5), but in and through Christ we can do all things (Philippians 4:13), which includes parenting with all its joys and difficulties. In Christ and through Christ, we are called to pursue a Christ-centered home, where children perceive that the goal of the family is to honor and please Christ through God-given roles (Ephesians 5:22-6:4). In Ephesians, we see that the church, marriage, and parenting are all designed by God to be platforms to proclaim the gospel.²
Thankfully, God has not left parents to guess at how to glorify Him in parenting, but rather He gives general and specific instructions. Deuteronomy 6:4-7 says,
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
The most important aspect of parenting is that parents know the only true God as revealed in the Scriptures (Deuteronomy 6:4)! We cannot parent biblically apart from knowing the one true God personally. Truly knowing God is to love God and treasure His Word (Deuteronomy 6:5-6) to the point that it begins to overflow into all of life. We cannot rightly impress upon our children what is not being impressed upon our own hearts. Jim Elliff wrote, “If we want our children to hear the gospel from us, they must see the gospel’s impact upon us. How we live before them powerfully preaches the gospel and its implications for our lives.”³
If God is first and foremost in our own thoughts and affections, our love of Him and His Word will spill over into our conversations with our kids. Tad Thompson writes:
In Deuteronomy Chapter 6, Moses calls Israel to love and obey the one true God, and challenges the people to integrate God’s Word seamlessly into every aspect of their lives, so that it becomes the very foundation of their families and community… Discipleship is most effectively accomplished when the practice is integrated into the rhythm of everyday life.⁴
How can we seek to glorify God by establishing the Word of God as the foundation for our homes that the Word of God may be our very lives (Matthew 7:24-25; Deuteronomy 32:47)? Deuteronomy 6 and other passages point us to both situational and systematic teaching in relation to parenting. In regard to situational parenting, throughout each day we are given opportunities to glorify God by pointing our children to Him. We can acknowledge God for His good gifts to us of food and the enjoyment of His creation (James 1:17). We can acknowledge our need for God when faced with a decision, anxiety, sickness, or suffering (Psalm 23; 121) As John Younts wrote in Everyday Talk, “Wherever you are with your children, they should hear about the constant interaction you are having with God and His Word. This is how God’s Word will make an impression on your children.”⁵
In addition to situational teaching opportunities given to us through everyday life, we can glorify God through systematic teaching. One way in which we can do this is through the regular practice of family devotions or family worship. Knowing the vital role of the parent(s), our church covenant says: “We also engage to maintain family and personal devotions; to educate our children in the Christian faith.”⁶ We agree with Jonathan Edwards in that “every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rules.”⁷
Going back to the nineteenth century, back before kids were “discipled” by Veggie Tales, James Alexander in his book Thoughts on Family Worship wrote, “regular family worship shows the children that their parents believe that Jesus Christ is central to all of life.”⁸ Our worship of God must go beyond Sunday morning to encompass all of life; this is to be exemplified by parents in the home. To that end, Tony Payne and Colin Marshall wrote the following in The Vine Project:
For many churches with a Reformation heritage, the Sunday gathering has long been understood as the gathering of Christian households that have ‘churched’ throughout the week. Family worship or devotions were embedded in the normal rhythm of godly family life. Indeed, what better context could there be for ‘learning Christ’ than in the day-to-day relationships of the home, where the Bible is read, prayers are offered and the gracious lifestyle of the gospel is on show through all the ups and downs of family life?⁹
Establishing a pattern of systematic or formal teaching and worship in the home lays the foundation for more naturally relating God’s Word to the rest of life. Throughout Scripture, there are three essential elements of worshipping God: prayer, the Scriptures, and song (Colossians 3:16-17). In prayer we glorify God by adoring Him, confessing sins, giving thanks, and petitioning God for ourselves and others (Matthew 6:9-13; Colossians 1:9; 4:2, 12). Starting each family worship time acknowledging our need for God (Psalm 119:34-36) as well as ending the time in prayer honors the Lord through our dependence upon Him in prayer. Praying the prayers found in the Bible (such as the prayers of Jesus and Paul¹⁰) and perhaps using good prayer devotionals¹¹ help take God’s Word and return it to Him in praise and petitions.
Vitally connected to prayer is the Word, which is used to guide parenting (2 Timothy 3:16-17) as well to be the main course of family worship. Depending upon the age and maturity of the children, a single verse to several chapters can be read and discussed at each gathering. Surely, we would want to know that under our parenting each child has been through the entire Bible before leaving our home! With 1,189 chapters in the Bible, reading just over 3 chapters a day gets through the whole Bible in just a year. There are lots of great reading plans to help systematically lead your family through the Bible in one to three years.¹² Age-appropriate books¹³ and catechisms¹⁴ along with some great online devotional materials¹⁵ make supplementing family devotionals easier today than ever before.
Another way to worship as a family is through songs. Psalm 96:1-2 says, “Oh sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth! Sing to the LORD, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day.” Singing unto the Lord is seen throughout Scripture and will be continue through eternity. For those not musically gifted, what a blessing it is to have so many online resources to guide us in worshipping through song!¹⁶ Singing of the salvation provided by Christ as put forth in His Word as we prayerfully seek to acknowledge Him in all of life brings glory to God. Helping parents establish these rhythms in the heart and home as first priority is the best help we can give (Matthew 6:33), for it lays the foundation upon which to handle all other parenting issues!
¹ Martha Peace and Stuart Scott, The Faithful Parent, 4.
² Statement adapted from “Biblical Parenting Part 1” from Track 1 of the annual BCDC, https://thecbcd.org/all-resources.
³ Jim Elliff, “The Godliest Parents,” Christian Communicators Worldwide, www.CCWtoday.org.
⁴ Tad Thompson, Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship By Design (Cruciform Press, 2011), 55-59.
⁵ John Younts, Everyday Talk: Talking Freely and Naturally about God with Your Children (Shepherd Press, 2014), 14.
⁶ https://www.gccministries.org/constitution-and-bylaws.
⁷ https://www.timothypauljones.com/family-ministry-as-it-were-a-little-church-the-puritan-model-for-family-discipleship/.
⁸ https://cbmw.org/1998/11/01/a-fathers-role-in-family-worship/.
⁹ Colin Marshall and Tony Payne, The Vine Project (Matthias Media, 2016).
¹⁰ Consider further study of Paul’s prayers using D. A. Carsons’ book, A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Praying with Paul by Baker Academic.
¹¹ Suggested resources:
Arthur Bennett, The Valley of Vision (The Banner of Truth Trust).
Robert Elmer, Piercing Heaven: Prayers of the Puritans (Lexham Press, 2019).
John MacArthur, At the Throne of Grace: A Book of Prayers (Harvest, 2011).
¹² https://www.ligonier.org/posts/bible-reading-plans.
¹³ Suggested books for toddlers through young children:
Susan Hunt and Yvette Banek, My ABC Bible Verses: Hiding God's Word in Little Hearts (Crossway, 1998).
Susan and Richie Hunt, My ABC Bible Verses from the Psalms (Crossway, 2013).
Ruth Younts, Get Wisdom (Shepherd Press, 2011).
¹⁴ Thomas Ascol, Truth and Grace Memory Books (Founders, 2022).
¹⁵ https://littlepilgrimstheology.com.
¹⁶ Suggested resources for singing worship songs:
Develop a playlist of favorite hymns and spiritual song on apps such as Spotify.
Make an online list of favorite worship songs on YouTube, such as https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=936BapRFHaQ
David Leeman, Barbara Leeman, Keith Getty, Our Hymns, Our Heritage (Moody, 2022).