Are You Ready to Be Angry?
Are you ready to be angry? That sounds like a trick question. After all, who ever wants to be angry? But anger is what we feel whenever life doesn’t go our way. Because humans can’t make life go our way, humans can’t help but get angry. That should not only humble you, it should sober you. Because anger is an icy mountain highway.
On my first trip to Colorado, this boy from the flat state of Texas was mesmerized by the snow-capped Rocky Mountains. Alongside my awe at the creative power of God was also a fresh appreciation for the ingenuity of man: Behold, the runaway truck ramp. Just off highways with a steep downgrade is a gravel hill that out-of-control 18-wheelers can steer to in order to be saved from disaster.
Have you noticed how slick and perilous anger is? Our anger can start out right, only to run away with us and end in disaster—hurting the people we love and, worse, dishonoring the God who loves us. God cautions through David, “Be angry, and do not sin” (Psalm 4:4). Anger isn’t always sinful. And also no matter how justified our anger is, anger will never excuse our sin against God. Our pride tells us we can navigate anger’s dangers, but more often than not, bailing out right away is the best course.
Good thing God’s given us an anger runaway ramp in Psalm 4:4-5—a step-by-step anger action plan that can help us be ready for anger so that we don’t sin in anger. If you’re looking for a summary of this whole post, that’s it: Be ready for anger so that you don’t sin in anger. Here are four steps straight from Psalm 4 to walk through whenever anger comes:
1. Be Ready to Ponder
The first step in being angry and not sinning is to “ponder in your own heart” (Psalm 4:4). Processing our anger in public—whether in their face or even to your mama—may be common, but it’s also wrong. Ponder “on your beds” doesn’t mean sleep on it, but rather, meditate deeply on what’s truly happening when you’re angry. It takes discipline and time to ponder, “Why am I angry… really?” Anger somehow compromises my ability to answer that question correctly. My first few answers are often wrong.
In my experience, the three real reasons we most commonly get angry are:
Unmet Desires. King Ahasuerus lost it when Queen Vashti refused to show off her beauty when he asked her to (Esther 1:12).
Offense to Reputation. It was Cain’s rep as a worshipper that was offended when God preferred Abel’s gift (Genesis 4:4-5).
Lack of Control. Nebuchadnezzar turned murderous whenever he was unable to control his subjects (Daniel 2:12; 3:13, 19).
Of course, we’ll get angry for different reasons. But when we’re angry, what will be most natural is to let our anger play out—like Cain, and then the brother he was angry at ended up dead. To be ready for anger so that you don’t sin in anger, we first need to get ready to ponder—and in our distraction-filled, phone-in-hand, feed-scrolling, show-streaming world, pondering is not something we do much. So we should start practicing now.
2. Be Ready to Be Silent
Ephesians 4:26-27 quotes Psalm 4, saying, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Some hear Paul commanding us to hash out our anger right then and there. Paul’s certainly calling for urgency in our anger, lest the devil gain influence. However, Paul may not approve of the screaming sessions we carry out in his name, even if they do finish before sunset.
Psalm 4 says what we should be urgent to do when we’re angry: Be silent. Not: Be ready to stop shouting. Not: Be ready to let your words be few. But: Be ready to not talk at all.
Talking when angry is like putting the pedal-to-the-metal on an icy mountain. Many of us will get better at not sinning in our anger if we’ll only get better at not talking when we’re angry. Be silent about “them” and what they did wrong. And instead, be ready to open your Bible and bow in prayer. Let God have the first word when you’re angry, and let Him alone hear your first words when you’re angry.
3. Be Ready to Sacrifice
Anger’s gravity pulls us self-ward. Thus, giving to God what is costly to us—sacrifice—can be the last thing we’re ready to do when we’re angry. How common it is that anger keeps people away from worship. And yet a key step on God’s anger action plan is to remember that we should take from us to give to Him.
In the case of the angry people David’s talking to, they actually are offering sacrifices, just not the right ones (Psalm 4:5). We, too, can be convinced we’re honoring God in our anger, while neglecting the “right sacrifices” God’s laid out in His Word. For David, that included the whole burnt offering, the sin offering, and the peace offering. While God no longer calls us to bring the blood of animals to Him, He still is worthy of our honor. It’s right even when we’re angry to offer every part of us—mind, body, heart—to please Him. It’s right to confess any way we are at fault in our response to anger, and to prioritize our fellowship with the Lord and with His people, even when we’re angry.
Are you ready to be angry? Well, you’ve got to be ready to turn the focus from what you deserve from others to what God deserves from you.
4. Be Ready to Trust
Angry people generate lots of ideas for how this wrong can be made right. But when David says, “put your trust in the Lord,” he’s saying, “Be ready to not trust yourself.” You and I don’t know how to fix much, and more often than not we’re part of the problem.
Be ready to not trust “them.” When we’re angry, we shouldn’t look for “them” to change, whether “them” is the people who wronged us or the circumstances that we don’t like.
Be ready to trust the Lord. Trust looks away from self and others in order to wait upon the Lord. This is exactly what Jesus did when life didn’t go His way: “When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to Him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23, emphasis added). Because Jesus responded this way, those who trust Him not only get help avoiding sin when angry but also get forgiveness when we do sin in our anger.
Our trust is what God ultimately is after. Angering circumstances are useful to His aim. Anger draws out whether we trust ourselves to make things right or trust God alone to decide how and when wrongs will be righted.
Get Ready to Get Angry
Truckers spend months getting ready before they’re ever trusted with 30-ton loads. Truckers surely never want to be careening out of control on an icy mountain highway, but they get ready just in case. They’re ready not to let things just play out and not to slam on the brakes, but to look for the runaway truck ramp.
It’s unlikely that Christians will be ready to not sin in our anger if we don’t get ready to be angry right now. Get ready now to ponder, be silent, sacrifice, and trust. Get ready now by figuring out which of those steps is hardest for you. That’s the one you should especially plead with God about and invite fellow church members to encourage you to not forget. Get ready to get angry, because your next encounter with anger may be just around the corner.