When Words Weigh More

I knew my first ski trip would teach me a lot. But I was surprised which lesson proved most important: There are times when words weigh more.

I expected a few days of memory-making with my family, watching my children learn something new, meaningful fellowship with our friends, and most likely, serious bodily injury for me. When we got to the middle of day one, it turned out when it came to skiing, I was worse than I predicted. Everyone else seemed to be getting it, but I couldn’t keep up. And I was really discouraged.

I sat down next to the ski lift to take a quick break while the remainder of my family and friends kept racing up and down the mountain. Several of our friends took pity on me, offering words to spur me on. It was nice of them to try. Sincerely. And the Lord used their kindness to help me to get back out there and to eventually get a lot better.

I admit I took offense to a couple of well-meaning sentiments. At this point I realize that says much more about me than the people who spoke them, but this point was driven home: There are times when words weigh more. Circumstances can change the weight of the words we say. That’s important to know, because lots of life is lived where the stakes are higher than they ever are on a ski slope.

Before we go any further, let’s get on the same page with the idea that words have weight. Words bring consequences. Just think about those sentences spoken years ago that still affect you today. Consider also James 3:3-5 where God describes the organ that produces words. The tongue, little but powerful, is like the bit in a horse’s mouth that controls the half-ton beast, or the rudder of a warship. Now the bit and the rudder both steer, and the bit and the rudder have to be steered. That means, our whole lives can be directed by the words we say and hear, and we are responsible for what we say. Proverbs 18:21 puts it simply, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” 

James uses another image for the tongue: it is a fire, a world of unrighteousness, setting on fire and set on fire by the devil of hell (James 3:5-6). The problem is this life-directing organ is misaligned, defaulting toward destruction.

Words have weight. So much so that Jesus said there is a day coming when we will answer for “every careless word” we’ve said (Matthew 12:36). But the thing is, just as waistlines fluctuate during the holidays, so the weight of our words fluctuates, if we just say the same words under different circumstances.

Let me run through situations when words weigh more.

Words Gain Weight When You’re Talking to Someone Who’s Angry, Afraid, or Hurt

Consider Job. He not only lost his livelihood, but seven sons and three daughters on the same day. Right after that, he was struck with painful disease. Job’s friends approach and for seven days they simply weep for and sit with him, “for they saw his suffering was great” (Job 2:12-13). Read what they said when they started speaking, and you’ll find words that sound almost perfect. Maybe the truths about God’s goodness, justice, and sovereignty would have been perfect, voiced to someone else, facing something else. But Job characterized his friends as “miserable comforters” (Job 16:2). What’s more, God agreed and rebuked the friends for not speaking truthfully about Him (Job 42:7).

Whenever we speak to those who are struggling, whatever we say, it better be true. But even the God of truth tells us to weigh something in addition to the truthfulness of our words. We’re to consider whether this truth “fits this occasion” (Ephesians 4:29). The fitness experts tell us that stress leads to weight gain. Likewise, your words get heavier when they’re spoken to someone enduring hardship.

Words Gain Weight When You’re Speaking with Authority

Just the other day, a loved one told me a sixty-five-year-old story: she was told in choir class that she sang off key. All these decades later, she may mouth the words of a song, but she won’t sing out loud. Whether you’re a teacher, a boss, or a coach, a husband, a father, or a mother, and especially if you’re a teacher of God’s Word (James 3:1), the words you say in that capacity of influence carry weight, even if they’re not spoken to someone struggling. Part of bearing the burden of leadership is weighing your words. 

At this point, you may want to consider devoting the rest of your life to living as a mime! After all, verbal communication can cause a lot of trouble. Hand gestures may be the way to go. The problem with that, of course, is that we’re made in the image of a speaking God. And we are called to use words the way He does. 

Words Gain Weight When You Express Encouragement

It’s been said, “You’ll never run into anyone suffering from the condition of being over-encouraged.” Maybe you can remember a word that totally changed your perspective on things—putting courage in you, delivering the strength you needed to trust and honor the Lord through overwhelming circumstances. Ephesians 4:29 says our words can actually be vehicles that transport God’s grace from heaven to others.

Words Gain Weight When You Speak Love

During a long season of hard and lonely ministry, what pulled me out of the pit was the question from a friend: Do you know how much God loves you? I would ask you, dear reader: Do you know how much God loves you? God loves you so much that He gave His only Son to save you! His Son loves you so much that He gave Himself up to die for those who did not love Him, and who were happily living without Him.

“Love” is a word that weighs more. “Love” is a word that can remedy the sting of living in a hateful world, and the pain of realizing how unlovable we often are.

Words Gain Weight When You Confess Sins

Just as confession can restore our relationship with the Lord (1 John 1:9), it also restores our relationship with the people we’ve hurt by our sins!

Words Gain Weight When You Forgive Sins

When someone confesses to us, they don’t need to hear, “It was no problem… Don’t worry about it.” The Spirit of God makes us care about our sin. He also cares that those who are sinned against don’t get bitter, stay angry, or aim malice at those who wrong them (Ephesians 4:30-32). Alternatively, when we say, I forgive you—and mean it, that we won’t let the offense separate us anymore—I forgive you has the power to break the peace-breaking forces of this world!

Conclusion

Ski lifts have weight limits. It would be tragic if they didn’t. If the load is too heavy, you’ll either find a way to shed some weight, or else you better not get on.

It would be good for us to follow a similar process before we speak. Let me sum it up like this: Weigh before you say. Before you speak, survey the circumstances and the state of who you’re talking to. Get in the habit of putting your words on the scale of Scripture. Be very careful when you hand your words to the people God has called you to care for.

Weigh your words before you say them.