The Progression of Anger
I won’t say anger is the most pervasive sin. But considering the number of times I have seen it arise in counseling and discipleship, and observing the number of books on the topic in my library, and admitting how often I have seen it in my own heart and life, it is probably safe to say that the sin of anger is prevalent. It is too common. And too many struggle against it without overcoming it (and some don’t even bother to struggle against it).
But the Bible offers help for the angry. First, the Bible assists us in exposing and identifying the nature and activity of anger.
How the Bible Identifies and Explains Anger
A vast number of words have been identified with anger in Scripture (someone has identified more than five hundred terms that reflect a form of anger). What follows is not a comprehensive summary, but perhaps it will provide you a good place to start thinking about what anger looks like and then how it progresses and grows—and how you might help yourself and your counselees in this struggle. (While there is a righteous form of anger, when the word “anger” is used below it only refers to the expression of sinful anger.)
All anger is ultimately against God (James 1:13, 20; 4:4, 8).
Anger, like every sin, is the result of allowing the flesh to rule one’s mind and heart and refusing to use restraint and self-control (James 1:14).
Anger is in part the result of not listening—and not being willing to listen (James 1:19).
Anger is in part the result of talking too quickly—not taking time to reflect on what has been heard before responding (James 1:19).
Anger can be controlled by being humble in response to the conviction of the Scriptures (James 1:21).
Anger is a God-given emotion that Satan skews for his sinful purposes (Ephesians 4:26a).
Uncontrolled anger is a result of being unwilling to deal with the sin fully and immediately (Ephesians 4:26b).
Anger is closely related to bitterness, wrath, slander, revenge, and malice (Ephesians 4:31).
Anger may stem from refusing to forgive others or failing to accept the forgiveness of Christ (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Being angry is a demonstration that either the person has never fully grasped the significance of all that Christ did for him at the cross, or that he has become so hardened that he knows what Christ did and willingly sins anyway (Ephesians 4:32).
A Suggestion for How Anger Progresses
Anger is progressive in nature. It seems to grow something like this (based upon the use of the Bible’s words for anger):
There is a desire for something (even something righteous) that becomes sinful in some way.
When the desire is unfulfilled, an internal judgment (evaluation) of wrong is rendered. Internally, the decree is made that because one did not receive what was wanted (or one received what he did not want), “It is wrong.”
Self-control is not exercised, and the internal anger of displeasure is expressed in an act or words for others to see.
A grudge begins to settle in one’s heart, so one is frequently angry without provocation.
Sudden anger may disappear, but a sullen state of bitterness may develop internally.
The “satisfaction” of the momentary outburst is replaced by a quest for revenge.
The revenge is driven from a heart of real malice—desire for deep, complete retribution—that may even desire the death of another.
Anger often also leads to conflict (James 4:1ff is so helpful on this topic); the angry conflict may grow like this:
When confronted by the sin, the angry person refuses to listen to another person.
Instead, the angry person offers a quick response/retort without pausing to consider the effect of their words.
A number of quick, heated words accumulate without seeking forgiveness.
Rather than repenting and reconciling, the angry person self-justifies his anger and isolates himself from the one with whom he is angry.
His anger against other men becomes open anger against God; he becomes a friend of the world and is hostile toward God.
Relationship with both man and God are fractured.
Applying the Put-Off Put-On Principle to the Progression of Anger
As biblical counselors, we are aware of the importance and effectiveness of applying the biblical means of sanctification to all temptation and sin: put off (remove, mortify) all sinful inclinations, desires, and acts by putting on corresponding acts of righteousness by renewing your mind about the nature of the sin and the purposes and provision of God (Ephesians 4:22-24).
Whenever anger appears, it may be a momentary event, but it is the expression of a longer-held desire. Anger happens because desires have become twisted, and faulty evaluations have been made. So the process of dealing with anger doesn’t begin with “Stop doing that,” but with an examination of what is happening internally. Addressing the sin of anger begins with renewing the mind by asking questions like: “Why am I angry in this moment?” “What do I want right now?” “Are my desires right?” “Is my desire selfish, so I can indulge in self-pleasure?” “Is my anger an expression of impatience and lack of endurance, wanting life to be easy?” “Is my evaluation of what I have received right?”
Following the self-evaluation of the heart, one then addresses what must be renewed internally. He might do that by asking questions like: “How does God evaluate my circumstance?” “Since my desire is sinful, what would a righteous desire be?” “Since anger is the wrong desire/response, what is a God-honoring desire/response in this circumstance?” “What passages of Scripture will help me meditate on true desires?”
As the angry person begins to respond in righteous ways internally, he will also want to begin to address his outward expressions of anger by putting off his sin: influences (e.g., books, friendships, media, social media) that provoke him to be angry should be cut off, angry words should be removed from his vocabulary, and he should develop a personal plan to cut off angry words and acts before they are begun (the counselor can help with particular things for him to do).
Of course, putting off anger can only be done in conjunction with putting on righteous responses: instead of angry words, words of blessing are spoken (Romans 12:14), prayers of dependence and trust are prayed (Romans 12:19), and repentance and confession are offered as appropriate (2 Corinthians 7:11).
Anger is ugly and harmful. And every person is an angry person (see “Do You Have a Serious Problem with Anger?” in Good & Angry by David Powlison). So the question is not, “Will I ever need to address anger in my life?” but “When I am angry, will I actively address the anger in my life?” And the Bible is adequate for that process of transformation.
A shorter version of this article first appeared on Words of Grace.