Hopeful Confidence in Counseling
Biblical counselors should minister with hopeful confidence whenever they are ministering to fellow believers.
It can be tempting to become discouraged or even cynical after some counseling relationships don’t seem to end well. We should resist that temptation, and maintain our confidence that God’s Word will work in believers (1 Thessalonians 2:13). Doing so is very important, and not only for the counselor’s sake: particularly our motivation, perseverance, and joy. It’s also important for the believers we counsel. For their sakes, we should cultivate and also communicate a hopeful confidence in God’s work in them.
Consider these words from one of the fathers of the modern biblical counseling movement, Wayne Mack: “No matter how many weaknesses our counselees have, if they are believers, we need to convey the attitude that we are confident they will respond well to counseling and will grow through it . . . we should have an attitude of confidence that believers will respond positively to the directives of our Lord. And we should communicate this confidence to our counselees.”¹
That’s good counsel. It’s biblical. The Scriptures teach us we should have an attitude of confidence about the believers we counsel and should convey that attitude to them.
In saying that, I have in mind especially the ministry of the apostle Paul. Perhaps his most famous affirmation of confidence along these lines is found in Philippians 1:6, where he said, “I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” But Paul did not limit such confidence only to those in Philippi. To the church in Thessalonica he wrote, “We have confidence in the Lord about you, that you are doing and will do the things that we command” (2 Thessalonians 3:4). To Philemon he wrote, “Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say” (Philemon 19).
At this point, someone might object: the Philippians, Thessalonians, and Philemon were all exemplary. Of course Paul is confident about them! Who wouldn’t be? But what about the believers who aren’t so exemplary, who are maybe more like some of the struggling Christians we meet in counseling? When we think about the believers in the Bible who could be called “not so exemplary,” two groups come immediately to mind: the Galatians and the Corinthians. Did Paul have and express confidence in them?
The Galatians have the unfortunate infamy of being the only people in the Bible who received a letter from Paul without an opening prayer giving thanks for the recipients. Instead of his typical, “I thank God whenever I think of you” (1 Corinthians 1:4, Philippians 1:3, Ephesians 1:16, Colossians 1:3, etc.), Paul begins his letter to the Galatians, “I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel” (Galatians 1:6). He later adds, “O foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you?” (Galatians 3:1). It seems like Paul has lost confidence in God’s work in the Galatians. Doesn’t he indicate as much, when he says, “You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?” (Galatians 5:7). Keep reading. Just a few verses later, Paul wrote: “I have confidence in the Lord that you will take no other view.” Amazing. The Galatians were teetering on the edge of total apostasy (Galatians 5:2–4), but Paul remained confident they would respond well to his Scriptural counsel, and he believed it was good to tell them that.
The Corinthians are often “Exhibit A” to prove real Christians can still have really big problems with really big sins. In addition to common sins like divisiveness, lovelessness, and pride, we find also in the Corinthian church sins that shock and scandalize (e.g. tolerating incest and getting drunk at the Lord's Supper). As you might guess, Paul’s ministry to this church wasn’t easy. He had to make a “painful visit” and write a “painful letter” to them (2 Corinthians 2:1–4; 7:8–9), calling them to repent. Even so, Paul told them, “I felt sure of all of you” (2 Corinthians 2:3, NASB = “having confidence in you all”) and “I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:16). Paul even told the Corinthians he wasn’t alone in that viewpoint! He told them of another brother, “who is now more earnest than ever because of his great confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 8:22).
How could Paul honestly believe and say these things? Ultimately, his mindset in ministry was more controlled by faith in the gospel, than by the sight of struggles in gospel believers. Just as he told the Corinthians, at the very beginning of his correspondence with them: “our Lord Jesus Christ . . . will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:7–9)
Counselor, cultivate this hope about the believers you counsel. Be confident about this: God will work in his people, both to will and work for his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Believe Jesus, who said, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27). Learn to imitate Paul, who knew the right time to say, “I have confidence in the Lord about you.”
¹ Counseling: How to Counsel Biblically, ed. John MacArthur and Wayne Mack, p. 183–84.