A Biblical Approach to Addressing Suicidal Thoughts in Counseling
As biblical counselors, one of the most challenging counseling situations we face is effectively and biblically engaging with someone who’s contemplating taking their life. Before we dive into the nuts and bolts of helping those who are suicidal, I have to state that medical help is sometimes needed, especially when they are an immediate danger to themselves or others. Our first duty is to be straightforward and ask the question directly: “Have you considered taking your own life?” There’s no room for subtlety here; love demands our fearless action. At the same time, this is a problematic question that should be asked. While running a sober living home in California, I got a call from one of the guys living there. He said that one of the other guys was drunk and I needed to return. When I arrived at the house and asked him what was going on, he said, “I want to jump off the third floor and kill myself.” While that was worrying, I asked, “Why?” and he said, “I can’t stay sober. I’m just going to end it now.” I texted someone, “Call 911.” Our role as counselors is not to determine if the person is serious. Get help as soon as possible. After the police arrived, he stated that he just wanted to get attention and had no intention of following through with his threats. Sometimes, it takes a higher authority to weed out truth from lies.
Gauging the Severity
We must assess if the individual has a plan. If there’s no plan, it’s still a serious situation but not immediately life-threatening. If there’s a plan, however, we move to immediate action. One night, I was having a party at my house, and the sister of one of the guys called me outside because one of her friends was suicidal. (I was in Texas while she was in another state, and I did not know where they lived so this made the situation a little more complicated. Ideally, I would have driven to the person’s location while having someone call 911 to go to where they were.) After a few questions, I determined that she was alone, sober, and contemplating suicide. Here is the list of actions that I followed.
Immediate Emergency Action Steps
Never leave them alone. This is your priority. While she was alone, I made sure that she promised to stay on the phone with me until her parents arrived.
Inquire about the plan. Get specific information about how they intend to act. She planned to take all the pills in the house.
Secure the means. Safely obtain anything they plan to use to hurt themselves, if possible. What I had her do was go into all the bathroom cabinets, and I wanted to hear her dump all the pills in the toilet and flush them down.
Our actions must communicate genuine concern and love.
Establishing a Safety Net
Here’s where you need a commitment from them: “Promise to call me or someone you trust before you make a decision that would harm you.” Just verbalizing this promise can serve as a strong deterrent. After she had dumped all the pills and flushed them down the toilet, I asked how far away her parents were. When she said they were on a trip, I asked her to go to a neighbor’s house that she trusted and to put me on the phone. After she did that, I explained to the neighbor who I was and what was happening and that person took her to the hospital.
Ongoing Biblical Counseling
Once immediate safety is secured, we move to daily sessions focusing on several areas. Since this was a female, I directed her to have a woman take over the day-to-day counseling. With that said, here are the steps to help someone who is struggling with suicidal ideations.
The Gospel: The gospel must be the foundation for helping those without hope. John 14:6: “Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’”
Root Causes: Dig deep into what’s causing their despair. Jeremiah 17:9-10: “The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable—who can understand it? I, the LORD, examine the mind, I test the heart to give to each according to his way, according to what his actions deserve.”
Repentance: Sometimes despair comes from unrepentant sin. Acts 3:19: “Therefore repent and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped out, that seasons of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”
Hopeful Homework: Give assignments that promote hope. Romans 12:12: “Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.”
Attributes of God: Focusing on God’s nature can offer much-needed perspective. Psalm 103:8: “The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love.”
Transformation Plans: Encourage them to change ungodly habits and mindsets. Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.”
Show Genuine Love and Friendship: Your actions speak volumes. John 15:13: “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.”
Service to Others: Have them engage in deliberate acts of love daily. Galatians 5:13: “For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.”
Romans 12:2 says, “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” These steps are designed to bring about this transformation.
Long-Term Spiritual Growth
After they’re stable, we start weekly counseling sessions for growth in Christlikeness. This includes integrating them into a body of believers; Ephesians 4:15 says, “Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” Addressing suicidal thoughts in biblical counseling is a sensitive and demanding task. Grounded in Scripture, we can help guide the person from despair to hope and spiritual growth, which ultimately leads to a life of freedom from suicidal thoughts.